Observations Why We Shouldn’t Watch “Noah” 2014 Film


The Poster:
I wasn’t expecting that much from Noah, but I thought that it was probably going to be a feel good cuddle-fest where Noah is a kind and loving guy who gathers all the animals around him like Cinderella, builds a boat, and then sails on some rolling waves with his family with them all singing southern gospel songs in an Indonesian accent.  Do you get that from this poster?

The poster told me that it was going to be a dark and emo-styled movie where a singer from a Mars Hill worship band builds a boat and barely escapes with his life while everyone else dies…or something like that.  I expected it to be somewhat true to the Biblical account.

Observation One: The Opening.
The movie opens up with a quote: “In the beginning there was nothing”… no mention of God?, It is clear in the first verse of Genesis that says this “In the beginning GOD created heavens and the earth.”

Observation Two: The History.
Apparently God spoke everything into existence and then took a hike…except for on the second “day” (which means somewhere over a few billion years) he made some sort of angelic creatures who, after sitting around for a few billion years, left heaven to help Adam & Eve. Adam and Eve were banished from the garden for eating a fruit which the movie describes as choosing “darkness” rather than light, and then the Watchers show up.

Observation Three: The Watchers.
The “angelic beings” aren’t the Nephilim, as some people have thought.  The Nephilim weren’t cast out of heaven, but were “were the mighty men who were of old, the men of renown” (Gen. 6:4) who were on the planet at the same time as the “Sons of God” in Gen. 6:2.  The beings in the movie also aren’t the “Sons of God” in Gen. 6:2 since whoever the “Sons of God” were, they “saw that the daughters of man were attractive. And they took as their wives any they chose“.  The Watchers are demons, if they’re anything.

Observation Four: The Devil.
The movie doesn’t explain the Devil at all, but it does contain a cryptic image of a snake shedding it’s skin in the grass of the garden. In the first scene with Noah, he’s a boy and is about to be blessed by his father, Lamech.  His father pulls out a snakeskin, wraps it around his arm, it starts to glow, and then some descendants of Cain show up, kill him, and take the snakeskin (which they call a “relic”).  Later on, Ham steals the snakeskin from Tubal-Cain and it ends up back with Noah.  We learn that it is the skin of the snake from the Garden of Eden, and it apparently is the tool by which Noah’s birthright to protect the earth is handed down through the generations of the line of Seth. In the movie, Noah’s helper is the Devil.

Observation Five: The Crazed Warlock Methuselah.
Noah’s grandfather was the protector of demons, using a flaming sword that he apparently got from somewhere. Beyond that, there’s the unbelievable usage of magic in this movie.  No mention of God, no prayer.

Observation Six: The Eco-Psycho message.
That’s right.  Eco-Psycho…as in “ecological” plus “psychopath”.  In this movie, mankind is a vermin on the earth that deserves the flood and gets no warning, no preaching, and outright condemnation.  In the bible Noah for years and years while he was building the ark, preached and taught repentance to all people around him, so that they might be saved.

Observation Seven: Noah is a Homicidal Maniac.
The character of Noah in this movie is so far removed from his biblical counterpart that he’s absolutely unrecognizable.  He’s a maniac who is an idolater, a warlock, a murdering psycho, and in reality has absolutely no idea what’s happening with the flood, other than the “Creator” is behind it.  What’s the worst is that Noah in this movie chases his granddaughters around the ark with a combat knife and then stops because he “loves” them, but then drunkenly laments his “love-fueled” inability to do the unthinkable for an indeterminate matter of weeks after the ark ends up on dry land.

Observation Eight : Tubal-Cain is the voice of reason.
In the movie, Tubal-Cain is the king of mankind, at least in the region of Noah.  – Subdue the earth?  Where have we heard that talk?  Oh yeah.  That’s the words of God from Genesis 1:28.  So the “good guy” works with demons, is a mass murdered, and is utterly confused as to why…but the “bad guy” is quoting scripture.
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” – Isaiah 5:20.

Observation Nine: The “God” of Noah doesn’t exist.

God doesn’t speak to anyone in the movie.  Noah has a nightmare where he sees Adam and Eve, the snake, and then he’s underwater and surrounded by dead bodies. God of the movie isn’t involved in his creation either.  The direct supernatural events aren’t caused by God, but magic. In other words, the God of Noah looks a lot more like someone from comic books than the Bible.

Noah is a movie that steals some names, the concept of a flood, and then insertseverything else from non-canonical literature and various carnal imaginations, and undermines the entire story by flipping it on its head in the most extreme ways.  It’s a story where the hero is the most wicked man in the story and the demons are more of a help than God.

An excerpt from “ Noah: A No Holds Barred Review ” http://bit.ly/1fLPLrT



One thought on “Observations Why We Shouldn’t Watch “Noah” 2014 Film

  1. Pingback: Noah | Joey is a Red

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